Dealing as I most often do with the nonsense, and indeed the occasional idiocy of politicians and governance gives rise every once in a while to a mood which forcefully suggests I lighten up, relax for a week, forget about the ills of the country, treat myself and you readers to a chortle.
I’m off and running. It seems there’s a fellow in our midst whose antics have no impact now, never have, never will, on federal or provincial politics, who cannot be said to exert influence one way or the other on the national or provincial economies and who does not – as the late Walter Cronkite used to say – alter and illuminate our times.
A fellow named Barry Shell, from Brampton, Ontario, fits snugly into the foregoing criteria. He showed up at the Ontario Lottery and Gaming head office this past Monday to claim a $4.4 million dollar Lotto-649 win. But as soon as Shell got the cheque, the Peel Regional Police got him.
Turns out Shell was on the lam, and he’s now charged with failing to appear in court as ordered back in 2003, theft under $5,000, and possession of goods obtained by crime.
In other words, Shell had skedaddled six years ago, but they’ve nabbed him now so instead of engaging a private jet to fly south or a cruise ship to sail the seven seas, Shell spent Monday night in the clink and was then commanded to show up in court at the end of the month for the delivery of justice on alleged criminal offenses.
As for what becomes of the $4.4 million, the OLG says for starters and with resolute understatement that Shell “has no immediate plans for the windfall.” In fact, it was the OLG itself which raised doubts. “A rigorous investigation process is followed any time a prize is claimed. Any flags that are raised are immediately forwarded to the Ontario Provincial Police and the Alcohol and Gaming Commission for further investigation.”
So in this case they investigated, carefully examined Shell’s credentials, as it were, after which the OPP alerted the lads at the Peel police and they hustled out and got their man. Whether in the end the lucky winner turned loser gets the dough, however, looks to be another question, because the OLG statement about “any flags that are raised” would seem to imply the lottery folk take a dim view of forking over cash to cons.
Talk about failing to consider “unintended consequences.” Shell probably figured he could sneak in, grab the money, and sneak out. Instead he now has a brand new mug shot, grinning and holding that $4.4 million dollar cheque. I’m figuring he grins no more.